According to a March 20, 2012 article by Ben Johnson of http://www.lifesitenews.com, a Planned Parenthood luncheon speaker, Dr. Amy T. Schalet, suggested that parents should allow teens to engage in sexual activity within the confines of their home. The benefit would be that teens no longer have to hide their sexual desires from their parents and the new openness would develop closeness, previously missing, within the family.
So let’s consider the wisdom of Dr. Schalet to the wisdom of God.
- God, who created sex, reserves it for the covenant of marriage.
- God, who created marriage, reserves it for after the man leaves his parents and the two become one. (We can also infer that the woman is to leave her parents as well.)
- God, who created sex and marriage, communicates to us in His Word (the Bible) that sex and marriage should last until death.
- God, who created us, communicates in His Word, that a lack of sexual integrity can cause significant relationship issues.
Related Clean Heart for Men articles:
Dr. Schalet’s Wisdom:
- Allow a fickle teen, who develops crushes and “love” with somebody different every few weeks or months, to engage in an activity that will unite them as “One Flesh” forever.
- Parents should refrain from teaching their teen to control his or her sexual urges, but encourage him/her to act them out in his/her own bedroom.
- Parents should allow teen to ruin his/her chances for a successful life-long marriage before he/she is old enough to even graduate school, vote, and live on his/her own.
- Parents should allow the teen to repeat this behavior as s/he desires.
Related Clean Heart for Men articles:
God, who gave us his only begotten Son and created sex, tells us how we should conduct ourselves for our benefit and what he says is the direct opposite of the wisdom of Dr. Schalet.
Which wisdom do you think would set you or your teen up for success?
When we follow God’s plan for sex and save that and experience it with the person we marry, there is a celebration for all. When we choose not to follow His plan for sex, then there are consequences. When King David committed adultery with Bathsheba there were consequences for his behavior: immediate and long term consequences. Living a life of having sex with every person “we care for” and “love,” involving ourselves in sexual activity with each person we date, or having “friends with benefits” each have consequences. These consequences are in many areas such as intimacy (the non-sexual kind), the ability to have a successful marriage, and even with our self-esteem.
So what do we do if we did not save our sex for marriage? First, we must accept that depending on our previous behaviors, there can be some short and long term consequences that are not to be blamed on God and cannot be avoided. Second, we must know that God does not condemn anyone who is “in Christ” (Romans 8:1). What this means is that we do not need to live our lives in shame if we have repented and changed our lifestyles, regardless of the consequences. If we repent, God is “faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). Finally, Now that we have asked God for forgiveness, and we have changed our behaviors, or at least are working towards changing those behaviors, we need to become aware as to how our previous behaviors can impact our lives today and in the future and we must renew our minds as Paul writes in Romans 12: 1-2. We need to change thought patterns, core beliefs, and possibly other behaviors that contribute toward our poor behavioral choices.
I would advocate that this is best done within a community of others. The number of others is not important it can be as little as 2 or as many as 20. The point is that we need others to help us become aware of thoughts and behaviors that we need to challenge and think through. I encourage you to not waste another day, talk with God and repent, immediately stop destructive behaviors, and seek out a group that will work for you. If we can help, please contact us. Nobody needs to be in the struggle alone.