Yesterday while I was working on the house, my daughters were watching T.V. and stumbled across a daytime talk show, in which, the topic was homosexuality.  There were three people on each side of the issue sitting on the stage and the audience was divided with T-Shirts that signified which side of it they were on.   I debated whether to allow them to keep watching and decided to allow it as I watched from the stairwell.  After the show I initiated a conversation with the girls to teach them what the Bible said about homosexuality and sexual sin in general.  My daughters are 8, 10, and 12 years old.  I realize some may be wondering why discuss such topics with children who are so young, but I realize on T.V. (even kids shows), our music, even television commercials, they are being lead into certain ways of thinking, regardless, if I talk to them about it or not.

As we talked I attempted to share what the Bible had to say about the issue.  With one of my children, who is at the stage of determining her own belief system, this got me the role of the eyes, but she still listened.  As we talked, they were pointing out that God forgives sin no matter what it is and I agreed.  They pointed out that God loves people regardless of their lifestyle and I agreed.  They pointed out that we can’t treat somebody bad for the “way they are.”  Here I was not upset about the idea of not treating people bad, but what honestly disturbed me that somehow they have developed the mindset that practicing homosexuality or any other sexual sin is not something to say is wrong, “if that is the way they are.”

I then changed the conversation to all of us needing a “code to live by,” and in our family that code is the Bible.  I realize over the years many well intentioned people have given the Bible a bad reputation with what society views as debatable issues, but in our family and in our church we do everything possible to do our homework and present Scripture correctly, so they do not have that history.  My wife then joined the conversation and also communicated the need for having a code to live by.   Now our daughters are young and are in different developmental stages, so making the connection with different types of thinking can be difficult, if not impossible, for them right now. But this conversation caused me to think about how many of us adults live life without a code.

The reason this is important is because, if we live life by just listening to persuasive arguments or to what we feel is right in the moment, then we will be changing our views on everything based on the next excellent persuasive speaker or the way we are feeling at the time.   We can’t live by just what we think, here is what the Bible states concerning this type of a lifestyle in Proverbs 16 (ESV):

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit (v1).

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death (v25).

If we live according to just what we think is right, we will not achieve the results we hope.  What is interesting is that as I just presented a couple of Scriptures for the thought I am communicating, there is a part of me that feels that some will cast it aside and that is true.  Hopefully for you, the words of the Bible go beyond the sometimes bad advertisements of many who use the Bible in their arguments, but speak to your heart as God speaking.

The Bible also states:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways (James 1: 5 – 8, ESV).

I realize right now in our society the issue of homosexuality is a topic and lifestyle that is trying to move into the mainstream culture as a normal and acceptable way of life.  And for many who practice this lifestyle, this blog entry will generate some deep emotions.  I believe the church must become educated not only about how to treat and respond to those who are coming out of the closet, but for all sexual sin, for all sin in general.

I am currently reading and learning about homosexuality and how to help those who find themselves in this lifestyle.  I have also talked with a few friends who have divorced their wives to practice homosexuality, in an attempt to learn their thinking.  But please hear me, If we leave the Bible out of our thinking as we develop views on the issue, in the end no matter how persuasive we sound, it will lead to death.

It is not my current pursuit to learn to view homosexuality as acceptable, but to learn how to help those who for whatever reason, believe  the practice of homosexuality is the answer to their lives.  Now considering the Bible is my code for living, if the Bible were to say that Homosexuality is good in God’s eyes, then I will change my viewpoint; however, I already know what God’s word says on the matter.  The question for me now is how can I show the same Grace toward the person practicing homosexuality as God shows me for my sin.

3 thoughts on “Homosexual Code?

  1. I happened to come across your blog. You and I are in agreement that we all need a code to live by and my code, like yours, is the Bible. However, fact remains that people with a high regard for Scripture and who are prayerfully committed to ordering their lives in accordance with it are honestly divided over this issue.

    It goes without saying that nearly every person who acknowledges an aversion to homosexuality does so on the basis of what he or she believes the Bible has to say. (Indeed, you close your post by saying, “I already know what God’s word says on the matter.”) In their mind, there is no doubt whatsoever about what the Bible says and what the Bible means. Their general argument goes something like this: Homosexuality is an abomination and the homosexual is a sinner. Homosexuality is condemned in both the Old and New Testaments. Therefore, if we are to be faithful to the clear teachings of Scripture we too must condemn homosexuality. Needless to say, this premise is being widely debated among evangelicals today and seriously challenged by biblical scholars, theologians and religious leaders everywhere.

    It rarely occurs to any of us that our reading of Scripture is profoundly colored by our own cultural context and worldview. Clearly, throughout church history most Christians who have used the Bible to condemn other Christians were acting in good faith. However, history has revealed that what many were defending was their presumption of what the Bible teaches, not the truth of Scripture.

    Since, as you say, you believe we have a responsibly to “do everything possible to do our homework and present Scripture correctly”, and “believe the church must become educated”, I felt particularly inclined to respond to this post.

    I happen to speak and write on this very topic and thought perhaps you might find some of these posts of interest. I would particularly recommend to you the following posts: “A Good Life in the Closet?”, “Romans 1: What Was Paul Ranting About?”, “Romans 2: Paul’s Bait and Switch” and “Why No One in the Biblical World Had a Word for Homosexuality?” However, you may find the other posts quite applicable and relevant as well.

    -Alex Haiken

    1. Alex, thank you for your interest in this blog post. I did take a look at your site and watched your video and plan on reading the posts you suggested. I think you have a good presentation and a good demeanor concerning your position. I agree this is a highly debated topic and many people get into intense arguments without concern for the person. I also can see your lonely position with the Jewish, Christian, and Secular communities.

      When I wrote this post, I was contemplating about how Clean Heart for Men would be able to work with men involved in any type of sexual sin (I understand that you do not view homosexuality as sin, I am only explaining my position.). I was thinking that if Clean Heart was to help men live with sexual integrity, then we needed to address “all” types of sexual integrity.

      I have had some good discussions with a couple of friends who are actively living the homosexual lifestyle. Through these discussions, I have come to a point to realize that what we do in Clean Heart for Men and the issue of homosexuality are incompatible. What I mean is that the men who attend our group are endeavoring to keep their minds and bodies from wrong behavior with the opposite sex, homosexuality of course has to do with the same sex. Before my discussions I felt bad when I thought this way, but now I realize that the two issues have many intricacies of their own that are better left to deal with in two different groups.

      Does this mean that I do not care about my friends or others who are living the lifestyle? Of course not. But my effort to help will be more on a one-on-one basis, and there are many people more qualified than me to help in this area.

      I am slowly learning the arguments of the pro and con positions of this issue. My views and arguments are not solely Biblical arguments. I learned a long time ago that the Bible can not be used as a basis for argument to those who do not believe in its authority. I admit I have not studied with urgency because I am learning all I can about the issues I work with on a weekly basis with urgency; however, I am slowly learning for myself.

      Just as a side note, I typically do not go out and “argue” with people for the sake of presenting my views. I believe God speaks to the hearts of people and when God is speaking to their heart and our paths cross, then discussion can be held. I am not on the journey to convince people, but I am willing to help people along on their own Journey with Christ.

      Thank you for your comment, Scott

  2. I applaud your efforts and will look forward to hearing back from after you’ve had a chance to read a couple of the posts I suggested as I believe some of the presuppositions you hold on this issue are distorting your reasoning and conclusions.

    Case in point: We must be cautious about using such terms as “the homosexual lifestyle”. We have to stop taking about “the homosexual lifestyle” as if to imply that all gay people wear designer clothes, do drugs and are promiscuous. The term “lifestyle” is at the heart of a serious category confusion. Mother Theresa and Madonna are both heterosexual women. But can we say their “lifestyles” or values are the same? We can’t use “lifestyle” and “sexual orientation” interchangeably. I won’t argue with you with you about some of the outlandish behavior and dress, for example, the media select to show us whenever there’s a gay pride parade. But if, for example, the straight pimps and prostitutes that line some of the seedier parts of our cities would have a parade, we would not conclude that this is indicative of all heterosexual people. To assume that all gay people are promiscuous and/or have sexual addiction problems is a bit grandiose.

    I’m all for sexual integrity. And I’m against sexual sin. But we must be careful about not letting our presuppositions about this issue distort our reasoning and conclusions — and consequently adversely affect our ministry to the point where we inadvertently and unintentionally end up doing more harm than good.

    -Alex Haiken

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