Sex Change

SEXual sin sometimes requires job CHANGE.

Recently I came across an article by Sheila Marikar titled, “Can David Duchovny Recover from Sex Addiction?”  Duchovny is an actor and is best known for his portrayal of FBI special agent, Fox Mulder, in the FOX television series, “The X-Files.”

In 2008, David Duchovny, checked himself into an addictions treatment center for sex addiction.

Interestingly his character on the X-Files had a library of pornography in his apartment, and at the time of his stay at the treatment center, he was in the lead role of a Showtime series called “Californication.”  The name of the television series includes the Bible’s “F” word, which should spell out the subject matter of the show. Duchovny’s character in the show is described as a novelist who has a sex and drug addiction.

Considering his addiction, it should not take much education to conclude that portraying a character with the same addiction would not be a good thing for him.  In Marikar’s article, Rob Weiss, founding director of Los Angeles, California’s Sexual Recovery Institute, supported the idea that Duchovny’s Californication character actually inhibits his recovery.

Duchovny has a Bachelors degree from Princeton University and a Master’s Degree from Yale University.  You would think for a man with two degrees from Ivy League schools, the thought for possible success for a life of recovery could involve the refusal of roles involving characters that are too much like his real life persona.

It’s always easier to look at other people’s lives and conclude a logical plan for success, but I would like you to examine your own situation.  In order for you to live a life of victory, is it possible that you have to make a change in your job situation.

Consider the following possible scenarios:

  • You’re employed at a local video store that has a room in the back that sells or rents out pornography
  • You’re a cashier at the local convenience store and the temptation to view certain magazines is just too overwhelming
  • You work long hours alone with someone of the opposite sex
  • Your business sends you alone on frequent and extended trips
  • You’re a counselor or pastor and you counsel people of the opposite sex

We don’t always have to quit our jobs.  Sometimes all we need to do is establish and implement boundaries that would set us up for success and reduce the opportunities for failure.  However, there may be times in which a job change is required.

“What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Matthew 16:26)

Sometimes because of a weakness toward SEXual sin, job CHANGE is required.  Does your soul mean more to you than your prestige, career, identity, or even standard of living?  Maybe it’s time for a SEX CHANGE.

Sex ED: Sex Before Marriage

If we are engaged to be married, is sex before the wedding day acceptable to God?

You may think that if it was understood that the only “God approved sex” is between a woman and a man within the covenant of marriage, then nothing else would have to be taught on the issue.  The 20th chapter of the Old Testament book of Leviticus is filled with rules concerning sexual relations.  As I have said before, people are people regardless of the time and place in which they live.  Even in the beginning days we were trying to rationalize God’s guidelines.

The people in the ancient city of Corinth were living as some would describe “sexually free.”  The Apostle Paul addressed the concerns he had for the Christian believers in that city, saying, “I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.   But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes.” (I Corinthians 7: 35-36)

Paul was providing an argument as to why the immoral people in the church should remain single without engaging in sex, but then he points out that the goal is to serve God with one’s best. Having sex with your fiancée would inhibit this.

In our current society, our proposed question could probably drop the engagement part.  A more appropriate question might be, “is it acceptable to have sex with someone we really love?” Or maybe, “someone we truly care about?”  Or, “with someone I date?” Or, “what about friends with benefits?”

With questions like these, I again, offer my argument that sex is God’s wedding gift.  If we attempt to develop any other rationalized mentality, then we are being self-focused and not God-focused.  A better question to ask at this point would be, “am I more concerned about my relationship with God, or fulfilling my sexual desires in a manner other than the way God intends?”

The dilemma here is not a concern for our relationship with God versus our relationship with our girlfriend or fiancée, because that dilemma would be impossible.  If we truly cared about our relationship with our girlfriend or fiancée, then we would first focus on our relationship with God.  Focusing on a desire for intimacy with someone outside the covenant of marriage only ruins the relationship and ultimately serves a destructive selfish ambition. But, focusing on our relationship with God and conducting our relationships with others including friends, a date, girlfriend, or fiancée in a manner consistent with the Bible’s teaching serves not only you but the other person until the day of your marriage…and beyond!

Don’t think you can successfully bypass the consequences of ungodly behavior.  The Bible states in Galatians 6: 7-8, “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.  Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature.  But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.”

So, if you are a believer and are currently involved in a dating relationship or are engaged and you have involved yourselves in sexual activity, I encourage you to:

  • Ask God for his forgiveness
  • To stop the sexual behavior
  • Start to focus on your relationship with God
  • Conduct yourself in a manner pleasing to God
  • Focus on being your girlfriend or fiancée’s friend

And if your relationship does result with marriage, wait to be lovers until after the wedding, then you can be confident that you marriage has a foundation of being God-focused instead of being self-focused.