I wish my wife looked like:
- The Hooters Chic
- The Go Daddy Babe
- That certain actress
- The Local News Anchor
- The lady singing at church
- My Friend’s wife
- The neighbor lady
- Etc. etc. etc.
I wish my wife:
- Had dark hair
- Had red hair
- Was a true blonde
- Had bigger breasts
- Was thinner
- Was taller
- Had a smaller nose
- Laughed more
- Didn’t talk as much
- Liked the things I like
- Wanted to have sex 24/7
- Etc. etc. etc.
We hear this time and again, and what is even sadder is that wives also hear this talk from their husbands. Now guys, do you really think that your wife is going to desire you and enjoy being with you if she knows you would prefer any number of other women over her?
When you communicate these desires to her, you
- Create a distance in your relationship
- Ruin the sexual union of your marriage
- Contribute to her lack of self-esteem (which most women already deal with)
- Place an unrealistic expectation on your wife
- Open the door to sexual sin
- AND you set yourself up to never be satisfied
Every time you compare your wife to someone else, you create a discontent in your heart. The interesting thing about comparisons is that we tend to compare to a made-up image. We usually see people at their best or at least we see what they want us to see. When we marry someone, we see them at their best, at their worst, and the times in between.
One of the Ten Commandments is:
“You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:17)
The word “covet” means: to desire or take pleasure in. When you wish your wife “were” or “looked like”, you are coveting. When your fantasy includes anyone other than your wife, you are coveting.
The funny thing about this whole line of thinking is that subconsciously you think you have no flaws—you’re the perfect gift to women and humanity—how crazy is that?
Now which one of you truly has the problem?
To expand on the concept that your spouse is your center of beauty I am including in this post a short video from a sermon preached by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. It is well worth these five minutes of your time.