I remember sitting as a senior in my graphic arts class, late last century, as the topic of sex came up with the student discussion. Each of the guys in the group was describing their sexual conquests, and I just sat there quietly doing my work, when I was asked about mine.
I told them that I had none and that my intention was to wait until I was married. They started laughing at me, saying, “You’re still a virgin?” I recall feeling embarrassed. The funny thing was within my peer group at church, I would have been embarrassed to answer otherwise. As I sat there in my class I counted the minutes to the bell so I could leave. As I endured those few minutes feeling what felt like humiliation, I was actually strengthening my character. I thought that when I got older, situations like that would never again occur.
I was somewhat surprised a few months back when I heard an adult man tell his story of other adult men teasing him for attending Clean Heart for Men. He was teased because his desire to live a clean and pure life seemed so contrary to the typical thinking of men. They were saying, “You don’t like looking at naked women?”
Sometimes a man may find himself to be a 40 year old virgin and decide to stop waiting for his bride. Or a married man who would like sex much more than his wife may rationalize there is nothing wrong with “getting a little on the side.”
In both scenarios there can be various reasons for their circumstances; however, the pure and clean life requires endurance—sexual endurance.
“Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.” (Hebrews 12:3)
Jesus was focused on the end result of his life. He finished His race with perfection. In the end He was all alone as He suffered the ridicule, mockery, beating, and crucifixion from the people He came to help.
“At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o’clock. At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27: 45, 46)
Regardless of your situation, I encourage you to consider that even in Jesus’ final moments, in this life, as he felt abandoned by the Father, He did not alter His course. He remained faithful to His calling and purpose.
You may feel alone; you may feel like no one is in your corner; you may feel like even God himself has left you alone, DO NOT GIVE UP! Are you willing to give your life in your struggle against sin? Jesus did…for you! You give it for your Bride!
Consider this: You go to work and gain a lot of notoriety for your job performance. One day after work someone asks you if you are a virgin. Instead of replying, “That is none of your business,” you reply, “I am saving myself for my spouse.”
Then the next day you find out some company has placed a one million dollar bounty out for anyone who can prove they had sex with you. This company hates the fact that someone would save their sex for the one they marry.
This is exactly what has happened to Tim Tebow of the New York Jets. A company named ashleymadison with a slogan, “Life is short. Have an affair,” has issued this bounty. I personally think it is just a way to get free advertizing, but why is Tebow’s virginity worth so much to them?
Possibly because sexual integrity does matter, whether you are single or married. God is not against sex, He created it. He cares for us and with something as sacred and mysterious as sex; He only wants to protect us so we can fully enjoy His wedding gift with no baggage.
What is your virginity worth? How much does someone have to pay for you to trade your sexual integrity? A lack of sexual integrity has a high cost; I tend to think the cost is too high. The trade is not worth the value.