Sexual Regret

When we follow God’s plan for sex and save that and experience it with the person we marry, there is a celebration for all.  When we choose not to follow His plan for sex, then there are consequences.   When King David committed adultery with Bathsheba there were consequences for his behavior:  immediate and long term consequences.  Living a life of having sex with every person “we care for” and “love,” involving ourselves in sexual activity with each person we date, or having “friends with benefits” each have consequences.  These consequences are in many areas such as intimacy (the non-sexual kind), the ability to have a successful marriage, and even with our self-esteem.

So what do we do if we did not save our sex for marriage?  First, we must accept that depending on our previous behaviors, there can be some short and long term consequences that are not to be blamed on God and cannot be avoided.  Second, we must know that God does not condemn anyone who is “in Christ” (Romans 8:1).  What this means is that we do not need to live our lives in shame if we have repented and changed our lifestyles, regardless of the consequences.  If we repent, God is “faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).  Finally, Now that we have asked God for forgiveness, and we have changed our behaviors, or at least are working towards changing those behaviors, we need to become aware as to how our previous behaviors can impact our lives today and in the future and we must renew our minds as Paul writes in Romans 12: 1-2.  We need to change thought patterns, core beliefs, and possibly other behaviors that contribute toward our poor behavioral choices.

I would advocate that this is best done within a community of others.  The number of others is not important it can be as little as 2 or as many as 20.  The point is that we need others to help us become aware of thoughts and behaviors that we need to challenge and think through.  I encourage you to not waste another day, talk with God and repent, immediately stop destructive behaviors, and seek out a group that will work for you.  If we can help, please contact us.  Nobody needs to be in the struggle alone.

Scripture of the Week (Proverbs 5)

I have decided to provide a Scripture of the week, sometimes this will include an entire chapter and other times it will involve just a few verses.  The Bible is full of Scriptures concerning sex.  warnings about the misuse of sex and instructions on good sex blessed of God. I will include both

Avoid Immoral Women

1My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel.

2Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you’ve learned.

3For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.

4But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.

5Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.a

6For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.

7So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say:

8Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house!

9If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.

10Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.

11In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.

12You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings!

13Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors?

14I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.”

15Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife.b

16Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?c

17You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.

18Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always.

May you always be captivated by her love.

20Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

21For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes.

22An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him.

23He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

(New Living Translation)