Giving It Up!

Giving It Up! (Sexual Endurance 6 of 6)

  • “You know you want it.”
  • “C’mon if you love me you’ll let me.”
  • “I promise, we won’t go all the way.”
  • “It’s not really sex.”
  • “Everybody’s doing IT.”
  • “You have needs and I have needs… right?”
  • “I really do love you.”

Guys are known for saying anything to get a woman to “give it up.”  They will say anything and do everything they can to wear down the woman’s resistance until she has no more endurance and finally gives up the fight. (I am not insinuating that all situations are this way, I am just going with the stereotype).

Sexual endurance has several sides:

  • Men need to have it to control (put to death) their sinful passions
  • Women need to have it to withstand the sinful efforts of various men
  • Churches need it to stand strong against outside pressures

It appears to me that society has lost most sexual restraint and is giving into sinful passions and at times it appears that society has declared war on sexual integrity in a schizophrenic manner (a state characterized by the coexistence of contradictory or incompatible elements—

On the one hand, society is somewhat outraged at people like Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Former Senator John Edwards, Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, and Former President Bill Clinton for their sexual “mishaps”.  On the other hand, society is overwhelmingly sexualized with television & movie content, commercials, musical lyrics, and the percentages of cohabitation & adultery.  This sexualized mentality trickles down to little children.

4th and 5th graders are teasing each other for being virgins; middle schoolers are actively having sex with each other, while others are proud to say they’re homosexual or bi-curious; the number one users of internet pornography are boys 11-17 years old.  And though people are shocked when faced with the reality of this, what is more shocking is Christian denominations debating whether to approve sexual sins, just to increase attendance.  

The General Assembly of the United Methodist Church had such a debate this past month.  The idea of sexual endurance is a concept that the church needs to have.  I do not see any where in the Gospels where Christ gave in to popular pressures, be it from general society or the church.

When churches are debating to endorse or at least remain quiet about any form of sex outside the sexual expression between a man and woman in the covenant of marriage, then one can conclude that the members of the church lack sexual endurance or at the least lack a knowledge of what Scripture teaches concerning the expression of sex.

I suggest that we lack in sexual endurance when we neglect the Scriptures and focus on our own logic and understanding, and focus on our own brokenness. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.  Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.  After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.  (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Don’t give up!  Run the race with endurance.

Virgin Bounty (Sexual Endurance 5 of 6)

I remember sitting as a senior in my graphic arts class, late last century, as the topic of sex came up with the student discussion.  Each of the guys in the group was describing their sexual conquests, and I just sat there quietly doing my work, when I was asked about mine.

I told them that I had none and that my intention was to wait until I was married.  They started laughing at me, saying, “You’re still a virgin?”  I recall feeling embarrassed.  The funny thing was within my peer group at church, I would have been embarrassed to answer otherwise.  As I sat there in my class I counted the minutes to the bell so I could leave.  As I endured those few minutes feeling what felt like humiliation, I was actually strengthening my character.  I thought that when I got older, situations like that would never again occur.

I was somewhat surprised a few months back when I heard an adult man tell his story of other adult men teasing him for attending Clean Heart for Men.  He was teased because his desire to live a clean and pure life seemed so contrary to the typical thinking of men.  They were saying, “You don’t like looking at naked women?”

Sometimes a man may find himself to be a 40 year old virgin and decide to stop waiting for his bride.  Or a married man who would like sex much more than his wife may rationalize there is nothing wrong with “getting a little on the side.”

In both scenarios there can be various reasons for their circumstances; however, the pure and clean life requires endurance—sexual endurance.

“Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.  After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.” (Hebrews 12:3)

Jesus was focused on the end result of his life.  He finished His race with perfection.  In the end He was all alone as He suffered the ridicule, mockery, beating, and crucifixion from the people He came to help.

“At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o’clock. At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27: 45, 46)

Regardless of your situation, I encourage you to consider that even in Jesus’ final moments, in this life, as he felt abandoned by the Father, He did not alter His course.  He remained faithful to His calling and purpose.

You may feel alone; you may feel like no one is in your corner; you may feel like even God himself has left you alone, DO NOT GIVE UP!  Are you willing to give your life in your struggle against sin?  Jesus did…for you!  You give it for your Bride!

Consider this:  You go to work and gain a lot of notoriety for your job performance.  One day after work someone asks you if you are a virgin.  Instead of replying, “That is none of your business,” you reply, “I am saving myself for my spouse.”

Then the next day you find out some company has placed a one million dollar bounty out for anyone who can prove they had sex with you.  This company hates the fact that someone would save their sex for the one they marry.

This is exactly what has happened to Tim Tebow of the New York Jets.  A company named ashleymadison with a slogan, “Life is short. Have an affair,” has issued this bounty.  I personally think it is just a way to get free advertizing, but why is Tebow’s virginity worth so much to them?

Possibly because sexual integrity does matter, whether you are single or married.  God is not against sex, He created it.  He cares for us and with something as sacred and mysterious as sex; He only wants to protect us so we can fully enjoy His wedding gift with no baggage.

What is your virginity worth?  How much does someone have to pay for you to trade your sexual integrity?  A lack of sexual integrity has a high cost; I tend to think the cost is too high.  The trade is not worth the value.