Parent Approved Teen Sex

According to a March 20, 2012 article by Ben Johnson of, a Planned Parenthood luncheon speaker, Dr. Amy T. Schalet, suggested that parents should allow teens to engage in sexual activity within the confines of their home.  The benefit would be that teens no longer have to hide their sexual desires from their parents and the new openness would develop closeness, previously missing, within the family.

So let’s consider the wisdom of Dr. Schalet to the wisdom of God.

God’s wisdom:

  • God, who created sex, reserves it for the covenant of marriage.
  • God, who created marriage, reserves it for after the man leaves his parents and the two become one.  (We can also infer that the woman is to leave her parents as well.)
  • God, who created sex and marriage, communicates to us in His Word (the Bible) that sex and marriage should last until death.
  • God, who created us, communicates in His Word, that a lack of sexual integrity can cause significant relationship issues.

Related Clean Heart for Men articles:

Dr. Schalet’s Wisdom:

  • Allow a fickle teen, who develops crushes and “love” with somebody different every few weeks or months, to engage in an activity that will unite them as “One Flesh” forever.
  • Parents should refrain from teaching their teen to control his or her sexual urges, but encourage him/her to act them out in his/her own bedroom.
  • Parents should allow teen to ruin his/her chances for a successful life-long marriage before he/she is old enough to even graduate school, vote, and live on his/her own.
  • Parents should allow the teen to repeat this behavior as s/he desires.

Related Clean Heart for Men articles:

God, who gave us his only begotten Son and created sex, tells us how we should conduct ourselves for our benefit and what he says is the direct opposite of the wisdom of Dr. Schalet.

Which wisdom do you think would set you or your teen up for success?

Sex ED: Free Sex—No Cost

Could marriage no longer be for you?

Have you considered that a successful marriage could be the cost for your past sexual behavior?

The Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Christians living in a city that was filled with free sex.  The people who lived in the city of Corinth removed most and sometimes all their guidelines for the expression of sexuality.  As you read the letter of I Corinthians, you will develop an understanding of their behaviors.  These behaviors involved group sex, sex with different partners, even sex with family members. 

Paul tells the Christians there that they had to stop their behavior immediately.  He tells them that if their sexual desire rules them, then they should marry one person of the opposite sex and within the covenant of marriage they can enjoy their sexuality.

He went on to recommend to all the single people that they should not get married.  He prefaces this statement by saying “because of this present crisis.”  Because of their “free sex,” the cost could be a successful marriage.  Though he encouraged them to remain single, he did say that if they chose to marry anyway that it was not sin.  His warning was to protect them from future heartache.

“But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.” (I Corinthians 7:28)

Let’s consider Paul’s advice in the terms of food.  For those of us who have removed most or all restraint from how much we eat, there is a cost to be paid.  If we desire to live a life within a healthy weight, then we will have to really work hard and possibly have to give up buffets, parties with unlimited food, go without sugar, and implement other restrictions, to help us reach a healthy weight.

The idea here is NOT that an overweight person cannot live a life within a healthy weight.  The idea IS that a life lived within a healthy weight will never be as easy for us as it will be for the person who has never abused food.  A healthy weight is possible, but it won’t be as easy as it is for a person who has always had a healthy weight.

I understand that there are many reasons for divorce; however, let’s consider that one of the reasons for a large percentage of divorces is related to sexual sin.

The divorce rate in America is approximately:

  • 40% for first time marriages
  • 60% for second time marriages
  • 70+% for third time marriages
  • 85% of those who cohabitate prior to marriage divorce

So what can we get out of this?

First, there is never such a thing as “free sex.”  Second, if you have lived a life of free sex and you choose to marry, then go into the marriage with a proactive attitude and implement some strategies to ensure the success of your marriage.

I suggest the following:

  • Repent of your past and current behaviors of sexual sin
  • Stop any current sexual sins
  • If needed, seek out professional counseling to address any individual issues
  • Seek out a good pre-marital counseling program and successfully complete it
  • Seek out an established married couple (10+ years) and ask if they would be willing to mentor you in your marriage for the first year or two.  (Don’t be afraid to ask questions, not all marriages that appear to be successful truly are.)
  • Continually read books on marriage and friendship.
  • Never wait until your issues become overwhelming to ask for help.
  • Keep your individual lives focused on God
  • Keep your marriage focused on God
  • Pray for and with your spouse everyday